Crickets and the Rain

 

I used to find the sound of crickets soothing and welcoming. I still do, but now when I wake up in the morning, I wonder how many crickets I will find inside my room and where in my room I will find them. I think I find anywhere from 5 to 8 typically in the morning. They sneak in through tiny cracks near the windows or the door. The management have done what they can to minimize the cracks, but still the crickets find their way in. Honestly it could be much worse. Now that rainy season is well underway the crickets have come out and they are everywhere.

I am grateful for many reasons, that I sleep under a net every night. It mostly keeps any intruding bug away from me. On occasion a small one manages to sneak in, but I feel so much better having it here. Strangely I wonder if I will miss it when I go back to the US. It makes my bed almost like a little fort, or small comfortable safe place to be. When I was a kid growing up, I loved to sleep in a tent in my living room, or go camping with my family, or build a fort in the middle of my Livingroom. Now sleeping under my mosquito net, I am transported back to those moments of sleeping in a fort or tent, but my bed here is much more comfortable than an air mattress or the floor.

There are little pockets of pure joy and relaxation that exist for me here. There is so much that happens every day. There are many challenges, but these moments of joy bring so much relief. Toto's Africa has been on repeat in my head, and sometimes in my room, since arriving in Africa. Now that rain season is more fully upon us it is in my brain even more. I have always been someone who enjoys rain and storms. I find so much enjoyment from watching the rain storms here and running around in the rain. Lying in bed at night and listening to the storms, or walking from the food stand in the dark right before the storm starts, is pure joy for me.

It is in those pockets of happiness and joy that I find the work I am doing more easily to be done. Without the good moments, those happy times, living here in South Sudan would be a very hard time. When the days get hard and the work and general life here gets overwhelming, I try to focus on those good moments. Lying in bed last night I was struggling, feeling very upset, and struggling not to feel overwhelmingly depressed and sad. But I listened to the crickets in my room and the storm outside and I found peace. Today is a new day to wake up and see what will come. The good and the bad and embrace it all and move forward.