Isolation

If you had told me that one of the hardest things about being a humanitarian worker was the number of meals, I would eat alone I wouldn't have believed you, but the reality is, that it is one of the things that is absolutely hard. I eat 85% of my meals alone. Sometimes I can go an entire week without sharing a meal with another person. It is lonely, but more than that, having a meal to share with someone at the end of a day is something I didn't realize was so therapeutic. There is no one to share the struggles, successes, and general highs and lows of the day with. Strange, but it is the truth. Humanitarian work can be incredibly isolating.

During the pandemic most of us experienced isolation and loneliness for one reason or another. This kind of isolation is different. At home I can pick up my phone and at least call one of my friends and talk about my day with them, and for the most part they will understand. Here there isn't someone I can call and tell them about my day, or what I am going through as a Khawaja doing Mental Health work in South Sudan, who will really understand what I am experiencing. That kind of isolation is hard.

It will get better, but that doesn't mean it is not hard. I have no regrets for coming and no regrets about staying here. But it is hard and that is okay.