Calm In The Storm

As I start to write this I am down in Nzara for the night because I have to teach in the morning. I am staying at the doctor's quarters near the hospital compound. Not everyone in the house is a doctor, which is part of the reason I get to stay here. However, most of them are. Today it is all guys staying at the guest house.

The rooms that I have seen here are pretty bare bones and small. They have made some improvement since I was here last, which is to say that they now have flushing toilets in the bathroom. The first room I was put in doesn't though, so they move me to the other room that does have a flushing toilet. It also has a giant spider on the wall. Oh well that is part of the experience here.

I am restless here. I feel like I cannot settle in here. I feel like an acquired guest here, and I don't know if I should hide in my room or come out in the dining room and living room area. I opted for going outside first since no one is at the house yet. Dr. Maad shows up and gets me connected to the Wi-Fi. We end up going inside, hanging at the table, chatting and using the Wi-Fi.

I still can't help that I am feeling more and more restless so I end up going back outside. It is muggy out and the air inside is so still and hot I am struggling to feel at ease inside. Outside there is a storm brewing. Most evenings there are storms. I stand there in the light breeze and look out towards the hospital to where I can see the storm clouds rolling through the sky.

The storm comes in quicker than others. I have been outside at night before and watched as heat lightning lights up the skies for hours but the rain only comes 2-3 hours after the lightning starts. However, this storm rolls in quickly and it is a relief.

As most faster storms here start, this one starts with wind. Now this wind is fast but it is certainly not as strong as the winds I have felt elsewhere. It brings up the dusts and blows the trees and knocks things loose but it does not do some of the destruction that wind storms at home do. But the wind here blows (sometimes is does cause destruction but today things seem okay here).

I stand outside as the wind picks up and I embrace the wind and cool. All day the air has been still, humid, and hot. Now there is a little cool relief with the wind and incoming storm. However, the temperature is still in the high 80s so it is not that cool. Around me people have begun to run to get things like clothes off the clothes line, or to get what they need from another building before the storm really comes in. I simply stand there.

There is something about the wildness of the storm that calms me. I always feel calmer with a storm coming, and during the storms. It seems when the chaos of the storm is coming, that is when I stop feeling so restless and unable to sit still. Standing in the incoming storm I feel peace, even as the wind whips my hair around.

I love dancing in the rain. I feel free and open when I dance in the rain. It is one of the places I feel closest to the earth, to nature, and to God. Maybe it is just me, or maybe there is something to that. Here I am constantly amazed by the faith that exists, when every person here has suffered unimaginable traumas. But here faith is strong, and hope remains.

So, I stand and embrace the storm, letting the wind whip my hair and the rain pelt my face. And I am feeling calmer than before. The storm picks up and I decided to shelter a little farther away, on the veranda. Still, I love standing and watching the storm, listening to the loud smacks of rain on the tin roof, watching the lightning brighten the black sky and listen to the thunder crash.

Storms calm my wild soul, and I feel more connected to the world, and to the Earth with each storm. And as the weather cools Nzara a smidge and the storm slows its pace I feel more peace. I am able to relax, rest, and fine my soul just a little more ready for the next challenge to come my way.