Check your ego at the door

 

I am not a savior. I am not a hero. I am not here to rescue or save the people here in South Sudan. I am here to try and help. I am here to try and serve the community and serve the people in it. I am here to try and provide a service that is in need in the area, and to try and teach a few people here to also use this skill I have so that when I leave, the work that I am trying to help with, does not stop.

I did not choose to come to South Sudan to "earn a spot in heaven" or other such phrases that people say to me to express that they are proud of the work I am doing or impressed by it. While I appreciate the sentiment sometimes, I think that people put too much emphasis on the service I am trying to by making it to be some larger act. I am proud of the work I do but it is not to make myself better, at least like that. I am here to learn and help.

It is easy here, or serving in many of the underserved and undeveloped communities and countries, to get a feeling of superiority, especially of a "white savior" complex when people only see your acts of some higher act of superior knowledge and being. I know I have knowledge and skills that are very much needed here. I know the work I am doing and what I am teaching needs to be done to make improvements. I know I can help.

But sometimes you have to step back and remember you are one person. You are not going to save the world. You are not a hero here. You are simply trying to help. Trying to make small improvements. And sometime your ego and hubris get too big, and you feel too important and you have to remind yourself of your place.

I am proud of my work. I am endlessly grateful for the work I am getting to do. I am excited and want to teach and help. I want to make a difference. I am hoping I will be able to make a difference when my time here is done. But this work is done side beside others, with others. I cannot do this work alone. I will continue to do what work I can, and hope that I remember that I am just one person trying to help, and trying to learn whatever I can, in that process.